Diffusing Negotiations When Divorcing Parties Want to Fight
A divorce settlement deals with very significant and personal issues. Where are you going to be able to afford to live? Will the relationship with your children be affected? Will you still be able to retire when you planned to? Every aspect of a person’s life will be affected moving forward – and much of that change seems to lie in the hands of an estranged spouse. An estranged spouse that you likely are currently at odds with, do not particularly like, or particularly trust. If you cannot communicate and trust the party you are dealing with – how are you ever going to feel comfortable agreeing to a divorce settlement?
There are so many things that can go wrong in the course of a divorce negotiation. A divorce settlement requires both parties to behave somewhat reasonably and rationally through a very trying period of their lives. However, as much as some couples just want to cut communication and be done – some parties may actually have “conflict” as a goal in mind. Some marriages end badly and the divorce negotiations may be seen as a last chance to exert influence over an estranged spouse, or force them to interact. These aims can directly impact the speed at which a settlement is reached – if it can be reached outside of court at all. So, what can a divorcing spouse do if their estranged spouse seems to pursue conflict?
If spouses cannot come to agreements, the courts will decide the issues and settle the matter themselves. An obstructive spouse cannot force the marriage to exist in limbo forever. However, an obstructive spouse CAN make the process much longer and more unpleasant than necessary. Both spouses are required to make certain financial disclosures at the beginning of the divorce. Being upfront with these disclosures can be a great step in restoring enough trust to enable better communication. If a spouse does not provide his or her financial disclosures, the other spouse always has the option to file a motion in court to compel the disclosure and also to ask the court for any relief the spouse needs to move the case forward.
It is important to note that if you have suffered domestic violence or fear that your spouse could resort to such actions through the course of the divorce, special steps and help are available. Speak with one of our expert divorce attorneys for more information.
It is important to carefully consider messages or social media posts to, or about, your estranged spouse. Negative messages might not only be used against you in court, but they could stymie the entire process of coming to an agreement to begin with. Remember to do your part to keep communications respectful and productive.
Contact Cardwell, Steigerwald Young
The San Francisco divorce lawyers at Cardwell, Steigerwald Young can help you strategize next steps in your divorce case to ensure better communication and move your case to resolution.
