Top Tips for Smooth Custody Exchanges
If you have kids, odds are that you and your ex will have to come face to face during custody exchanges. How often this happens depends on the parenting plan and custody agreement, as well as specifics of visitation. Most divorced or separated couples end up seeing one another on a weekly basis. But even for those parents with longer stretches between interactions, odds are that at some point around holidays and major events, you are going to have to be in the same space as your former partner.
Unfortunately, some parents find themselves in volatile, even dangerous, situations with their former partner. There are many resources available to individuals who have been victims, or fear they may become victims, of domestic abuse.
Even in the best situations, custody exchanges will likely be a little awkward. Particularly when things between two former partners are tense or combative, it is smart to have a strategy in place to help ensure things stay civil. There are many approaches and strategies you can implement to limit face-to-face time and help ease potential friction.
Here are some strategies to help keep custody exchanges safe, smooth, and efficient.
- Coordinate Drop Off/Pick Up
The more you interact with your ex, the higher the likelihood that friction will arise. Avoiding conflict can often be as simple as clear communication when it comes to drop off and pick up.
Many co-parents find success in coordinating drop off and pick up of kids through making the switch at a babysitter’s house, school, or at a friend’s home. Having a neutral location and third party involved in the exchange can help former partners to avoid unnecessary interaction. In contentious situations, sometimes the less exes physically interact, the better.
It is, however, quite important that adequate communication occurs to properly coordinate such a pickup/drop off schedule. Clear communication does not have to involve face to face talks or long conversations – but the important, specific facts need to be clearly exchanged between parents
- Exchange In Public
Public places are frequently utilized for a number of different situations. Having a public audience discourages people from making a scene, so both parties may be more likely to be on their best behavior.
Again, a neutral location is often the best way. Be it a coffee shop, a park, or some other public place that you are familiar with. Extreme cases may require the parents and the court to work out supervised visitation, or for other help. An experienced divorce and child custody attorney can help you understand your options.
- Preparation
To avoid unnecessary back and forth and excess communication, take the time to properly prepare. Before you exchange custody make sure that you know what your child is going to need and that they enter the custody exchange prepared.
Some common things to think about when packing:
- Medicine
- Homework and backpack
- Extra curricular activity materials (sporting equipment, instruments, books, etc.)
Contact Cardwell, Steigerwald Young
Custody exchanges can be wearisome, but the kids benefit from the exchanges being as stress-free as possible. For help with this, or any of your divorce or child custody needs, contact the San Francisco child custody attorneys at Cardwell, Steigerwald Young.
Sources:
ktvu.com/news/shots-fired-during-richmond-child-custody-exchange-police
radio.wpsu.org/2024-10-08/pa-senate-approves-safe-exchange-zones-bill-for-online-sales-and-child-custody-exchanges
